


Shut the fudge up!

by worddumb



Series: An AU, I think? [1]
Category: Hermitcraft
Genre: Did I mention fluff? Yeah, Fluff, Gen, Iskall is mentioned, I’m sorry, a whole lotta fluff, blink and you miss it - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-27 06:07:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20402938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worddumb/pseuds/worddumb
Summary: This is a thing I spent actual time on. The title explains it all, so I’ll just leave you to it.





	Shut the fudge up!

The gimmick of ‘shut the fudge up’, as the child-friendly title would suggest, started when someone was talking shit, in season five. Well, technically, it already existed, it just didn’t have a name- yet. Everything began with none other than the spoon himself and a certain scanner-eyed Swede, when first ever bumbo was created- Iskall would not shut up about it, teasing Mumbo to hell and back, and one day, got rightfully smacked. And than again. And again. And again... You get the idea. What was different, tho, is how, let’s say, inventive the smacking became. And how it slowly spread like a wild fire and an easy joke. There was just, something very entertaining about coming up with ways to shut up your friends, when they’re being assholes. Or up and leave, when they’re being silly. Or anything and everything in between. So, naturally, this HAD to transfer to season six- it almost became the trademark of Hermitcraft, especially the streams.  
So, when was the first official ‘shut the fudge up’ moment? Funny you should ask. You Know the answer, or what are you even doing here? Of-fucking-course it happened with the gremlin man, who else do you think gets half the shit on the server started ever since he showed up? Also, Mumbo has also taken part in it, coincidentally. 

It was a beautiful day on the futuristic isles- the sun was at its peak, a pleasant sea breeze swiped around, picking at waves and creating tiny tornados out of sand. Everything was peaceful, as peaceful as it can get when your neighbor stole your milk as a house warming gift, and visited frequently to throw eggs at you. Mumbo was sorting through his chests, when the tell-tale buzz sound interrupted soft whaling of sea winds trapped in leaves. It was soon followed by a loud crash and branches breaking, as well as a tired, frustrated groan. The mustache man looked up from whatever he was doing, to be met with huge, segmented all-the-way-from-almost-black-smaragdin-to-well-near-yellow-lime in the gleaming sunlight eyes. Seeing as they’ve been noticed, the person innocently batted their long, transparent white-ish eyelashes, showing off some silver eyeliner as if they wasn’t hanging upside down from a tree. “Hi Mumbo!”-it was said in such an upbeat, casual tone, it was easy to forget they wasn’t currently dangling on one leg, that got stuck in between two branches, fluttering their wings and flopping other limbs around. “Hi, Grian. You need any help?”- Mumbo said, playing exasperated. “Naaah!”- with that illogical statement, he reached up to his leg, easily snapping the cruel branch off. It disappearing with a leafy crunch, the builder came crushing down second time in five seconds- clearly, he had not thought this through. Or he did, considering Mumbo managed to catch him and put him atop of a now closed chest, huffing on impact and having to bend a little to rotate him right side up, Redstone in his hair, nails and skin lighting up with effort. “Let me guess”- keeping on the exasperated face, Mumbo tried lecturing the older man, who was giggling like a school girl- “some totally not chicken related business?”. Towards the end of said lecture, the smile in his voice became a lot more prominent, as well as his stance becoming less ‘I judge your entire existence and all of your life choices’ and more friend-shaped. “How dAre!”- proclaimed a very offended by such Stupid insinuation Grian- “I just wanted to visit, is all!”- he said, sounding a lot more sincere, tilting his head to the side a little and dangling his legs around. Maybe he should’ve stayed in the tree. Go figure. “...Rright. I presume you wanted to talk?”- asked Mumbo, sitting down as well, in a way almost comically different to Grian- posture straight, one leg firmly planted on the floor and the other going over it, hands neatly folded in front of him, to goblin-mans C-shaped back, wings embedded in leaves behind them, legs uselessly flopping around toes barely scratching the floor, hands on either side of his body holding onto the chest with those insanely long, bone-like fingers. “Yea! How’ve you been?” “Well, before you crushed, I was looking through my Redstone components-“-he didn’t get a chance to finish. Grian bursted a little, interrupting mid-sentence “Redstone?! Dude, Redstone is stupid.” With the way he was acting, it was rather obvious that was a joke, yet Mumbo still found fit to indigenously bring a hand to his chest in the most exaggerated attempt at mock offense to ever exist. Pretending not to notice, Grian just kept going:”And the dust itself is just, so annoying, it gets Everywhere! Like, what is even its use? Nerdy ass trapdoors?”- putting emphasis on seemingly every word, and occasionally turning his head ever so slightly to Mumbo, who sat there glaring very convincing daggers-“Or comparators, what are they even Used for? So stupid! And don’t get me started on hoppers, such a waist of iron, I tell You!Using that iron for cauldrons is so much smarter! Or obse- Ouch, What was That for?!”- he was forced to stop that tirade, as a rather strong bump with a flat side of an iron sword landed on his head. “For being a fucking idiot”- Mumbo, who had moved to stand in front of Grian, holding the sword loosely, other hand on his hip, bending down at a ninety degree angle to be face to face, was dangerously close and looked thoroughly unimpressed. The builder pouted, like children do when they act angry, puffing up transparent hairs he had around his face, neck, and probably back as well. He looked a little bit like a hedgehog. Mumbo remained unimpressed, not breaking eye contact. Grians lips quivered, and he squinted even harder than before. Mumbos eye twitched. Grian made a strangled noise, puffing out some air in the process. Mumbo blinked violently, expression shifting to stern, Redstone in his eyes lighting up. Grian burst out laughing, bending forward and clutching at his stomach, a sound of pure delight and mischief filling the air as strangled, loud and chaotic ring escaped him. Mumbo, previously having to dodge and catch himself (if falling on the arse counted as such) was also absolutely breathless, sword thrown (lost) off to the side, pulling himself in a tight ball of giggles, looked on in amusement as buggy-man glanced his way, made a strange noise, and fell off of the chest, bending forward too much and flapping his wings too fast. That only contributed to Mumbos hysterics, as he hid away his face, pressing his knees into his eye sockets and crying from laughter. Meanwhile, Grian was trying to get up, still weakly laughing, supporting himself with the chest and a trident he whipped out just for this occasion. “Okay, for real tho- how are you?”- he said, extending a hand for Mumbo, still leaning onto his trident, voice playful as ever. Gratefully excepting the hand, Mumbo pulled himself up, wiping his tear-stricken face with a sleeve. “Great! Especially now. Thank you, Grian. I think I took some damage, laughing so hard..”  
Season 6 group chat  
MumboJumbo : hey Iskall!  
Iskall85 : yeah dude?  
MumboJumbo : remember Grian? the new kid?  
Iskall85 : Yes, why?  
MumboJumbo : you’re not allowed to meet. ever. under any circumstances.  
JoeHills : Top tier drama, as told by grammatically incorrect messages.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m terribly sorry. Please, don’t kill me. Criticism is welcome, by the way, because I want to suffer. Also, yes, I could do better on the chat part. I just didn’t, for I am an idiot and didn’t check.


End file.
